Inconvenient Relations Page 12

  She broke away, laughing while her chest ached. “I was jesting, Shaan. Who cares about what happens tomorrow? Let’s go home.”

  He gazed after her in stunned disbelief. I’ll have you, then I will kill you—if it’s the last thing I do.

  Introspection

  Ruhi woke in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep again. Earlier she had gone off like a light as soon as her head had touched the pillow; the salty tang of the sea clearing the cobwebs from her mind, but they were back now as tangled and twisted as ever.

  She stared at the shifting pattern of light and shade created by the swaying blinds, the agitation procured by the cool air blowing through the vents. He had turned the AC way down, and she couldn’t get warm yet was too lazy to rise up and adjust the thermostat. Men are like that, they only think of their comfort unlike women who are forever willing to suffer in silence but not she, not Ruhi.

  She hugged a large pillow to her body in an attempt to get comfortable as her mind drifted. She hadn’t allowed herself much time to ponder these past few days. She had been afraid to think, lest she may need to face her emotions, which were not what she wished them to be. But they crept in now, slowly and surely like insects do to a flame—a fatal attraction.

  What have you been doing, Ruhi? A tiny voice queried what some may call “mann ki awaaz” or her inner voice and some others schizophrenia—depending upon whom you were talking to.

  “What have I been doing? Nothing in particular. Anyway, don’t call me Ruhi, call me Bee. I like that name better. It has sting.” She giggled, a little hysterical.

  Why are you playing these games, as Shaan said last night, sending him confusing signals then withdrawing at the last moment? What are you trying to prove?

  “I… I am taking my revenge, making him pay for what he did to me. And I think it’s getting to him, I can see it in his eyes.”

  But aren’t you hurting yourself too in the process? Can you deny the attraction you feel whenever you are near him?

  “No! I don’t feel anything!” she said aloud yet was unable to camouflage the truth.

  You are not a Mata Hari or femme fatale who ensnares her prey then leaves unaffected. You are an inexperienced young woman playing a very dangerous game who will pay a terrible price in the end. You need to stop now, Ruhi.

  “Shut up! I will do what I want. I won’t sit back and let him walk all over me. I don’t care what happens, but I can’t forgive him easily.” She clutched her pillow tight, recalling how he had held her last night, how she had struggled to tear herself away; the pain had been unbearable.

  If you continue like this, do you believe you’d be able to leave peacefully when the time comes? Do you think you can start anew on your own or even consider somebody else as a partner?

  “No! Everything began and ended with Shaan. I can never imagine spending my life with another person. He took my heart and left me hollow inside, and it hurts. It hurts so bad!” She buried her face in the pillow in an attempt to subdue her sobs but couldn’t prevent the tears from trickling out.

  Yes, perhaps I should stop fooling myself and just let things ride. He has been nice so far, has done things for me, taken me places I’d have never seen otherwise. He has been a perfect gentleman, though he came close to breaching that boundary last night. I almost wished he had. Then I’d have been in his arms right now, and everything would have been so different.

  But it didn’t happen, and I’m still there where I was before, married yet single, counting down the days before I bid good-bye to this short yet achingly sweet part of my life.

  But dear God, before I leave, I want to meet that Des woman once so I can give her a piece of my mind!

  She mused on this happy thought before falling into an exhausted sleep.

  ***

  Seems like mahashay did not have a very good night either! she thought with a simper when he didn’t make his appearance at the usual eighth hour.

  No, cut it, girl! Control your impulses! Stop the tease. Be nice for a change!

  “Yes, be nice and make pancakes,” she scolded herself, heating up the skillet.

  Ruhi sensed a thrill run through her body as he came up in a rush behind her. Popping a slice of bread in the toaster, he stood there watching, lounging against the narrow counter, not too close yet close enough. His citrus-flavored aftershave flooded her lungs. She reached forward to turn on the coffee machine at the same instant as he did and withdrew in a hurry, feeling scalded.

  “Thanks for yesterday. I had a very good time,” managing to croak out finally as her throat had gone bone-dry.

  “You don’t have to thank me. I had a good time too after quite a while. Blast!” The bread came out charred.

  “You can have these pancakes. They are fresh and hot.” She plated a couple.

  “No, I’d prefer to eat this today,” he said, holding up the burnt toast in his hand. “It’s proven that charcoal helps clear poison out of the system, and I do need to get used to you not being here after a couple of weeks, don’t I?”

  She flinched, a sharp twist of ice cold metal in her gut while he waited intently for her reaction.

  He’s using my own weapon against me. I won’t show him that I hurt.

  “I…I’m sorry for how I behaved last night. Maybe it was something in the ice cream.”

  “I didn’t mind it at all. Rather, I found the proceedings quite entertaining.” Don’t make lame excuses! You wanted to unnerve me, and you succeeded with flying colors! So you are trying to act strong even though I can see you burning inside. You won’t show it, will you, my darling?

  She found herself backed into a corner with no avenue for escape. Unblinking, she stared at his eyes, and he gazed back tenaciously into hers.

  What is it about her that makes me want to hurt her, make her cry? I have never experienced this cruel streak before but then nobody has evoked these alien feelings in me as she has, including a deep passionate desire.

  Her eyelids fluttered close as his warm breath tickled her skin—an eager anticipation peppered with delicious panic.

  “Make a wish.”

  She blinked when he placed something nonexistent on her closed fist.

  “Ahh! It’s gone. Sorry, better luck next time.” He moved away with a sly grin.

  She controlled her instinct to punch him. How dare he?

  They were shadowboxing, practicing their moves until it was time for the final show down whenever that might occur.

  He took a quick gander at his watch. “I’m late.” Punctuality had never been a problem before.

  “Wait, your socks don’t match, shall I…” She faltered.

  “It doesn’t matter. Anyways, why would you care? You aren’t my wife, are you?”

  He paused at the door and caught a glimpse of her distressed face before she turned away.

  She watched him walk to his car, which was parked right below the kitchen window of their apartment, just as she did every day. He looked up, holding the door open, and their eyes met briefly before he got in and drove away.

  ***

  Darn! What in hell has got into me? I’m digging my own grave! He thought bringing the car to a halt along the sidewalk almost as soon as he left the complex.

  “Instead of working on winning her heart, I’m just succeeding in pushing her further away. But what can I do? She forces my hand!” Feeling wretched, he bowed his head over the wheel. “I’ve gotten so used to having her around, I can’t imagine spending a day alone in the dreaded apartment without her. She can argue constantly for all I care, I just want her to be there with me! Hell, what have I done? I’m a classic nutcase!” he cursed, getting out and slamming the door shut. “I need to get some fresh air.”

  “Are you speaking to me, young man?”

  Frowning, Shaan raised his head. He hadn’t realized
he had company on the bus stop bench.

  “No, I beg your pardon. I didn’t mean to bother you.” He smiled at the almost invisible old lady with skin so transparent he could clearly envision a fine network of veins underneath. He recalled Ruhi’s spunky lady.

  “You must be Sunshine, Ruhi’s bus stop friend. She’s a big fan and so am I. I’m Shaan.” Grinning wide, he gingerly held out his hand.

  She tittered, her face lighting it up with a lovely smile. Her grip was firm and sure. “No, I’m not bothered. Indeed, it’s a rarity nowadays that I get nice-looking young men wanting to shake my hand.”

  Shaan was tickled to see her fragile complexion grow pink.

  “Roohee? But I thought she said her name was Bee!” Her blue eyes twinkled. “Odd, I thought. People from your country tend to have such pretty names, my Jeremy used to say. He spent a few years there.” She smiled wistfully to herself.

  Ruhi, don’t think you can fool everybody.

  “No it’s R-U-H-I. She tends to get a little deranged sometimes.” And I love her for that.

  Sunshine squinted at him with a knowing smile. “Are you her young man, Shaan?”

  How I wish I was.

  He met her gaze then looked quickly away; her blue eyes were uncomfortably perceptive. “We are just friends.”

  “Friends who wish to be much more than friends but are afraid to speak their minds.”

  She patted his hand. “Don’t bide your time, young man. Don’t let the bird fly the coop. Life is short, especially when you are in love. Seize the opportunity and sweep her off her feet.”

  He smiled at her enthusiasm. But it’s all so much easier said than done.

  Sunshine

  “Hands up or I will shoot!”

  Sunshine cackled as Ruhi instinctively thrust her hands up.

  “You don’t have to do that, my dear. That’s JJ! He greets everybody that way.”

  “JJ?” Ruhi asked, cautiously scouting for the presence of imminent danger.

  “That’s Jeremy Junior, my African gray. He was my husband’s pet and best friend, and I hated him with all my heart! But when Jeremy died, I inherited him, and now I can’t imagine spending a day without the obnoxious bird!”

  “Come on in. He doesn’t bite.” Sunshine smiled, waving Ruhi into her small but very neat one-bedroom apartment at the local senior living community. She had invited her for “a bite and a cup of tea.”

  “It makes me so happy to see an unlined face in my house once in a while, makes me feel young again.”

  Ruhi stepped in tentatively hoping JJ wasn’t planning on carrying out his threat.

  “Here’s JJ! Say hi to Roo…umm, Bee, my lovely friend from India.” Sunshine pointed dramatically toward a large cage, which housed a handsome grey parrot.

  Ruhi shot Sunshine a suspicious peek before confronting one of JJ’s beady eyes as he examined her with his head cocked to one side and screeched.

  “Vamos!”

  Sunshine squealed with delight. “Naughty boy. Always on the lookout for a pretty face!” Then seeing Ruhi’s baffled expression, she added amiably, “Vamos means ‘let’s go’ in Spanish.”

  Ruhi smiled. “Oh, how charming.”

  Sunshine laughed, deeply amused. “Naah! He’s just a dirty old man or should I say dirty old bird! Aren’t you, my boy? Now, now can you sing you are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”

  JJ didn’t bat an eyelid.

  “Bad bird! He never listens to me! Not like my Jeremy who used to sing it to me all the time…Oh how I miss him!” Sunshine broke down.

  “Oh no, don’t cry, please.” Ruhi hugged her little friend’s frail body, feeling dismally inadequate.

  “My dear, you are such an angel! May the good Lord shower all his blessings on you and your young man!” Sunshine said, reaching up to graze her cheek.

  “But I don’t have a young man, Sunshine. As I said before, Shaan and I are just friends.”

  “Oh yes, yes, I forgot. Blame it on senility and perhaps wishful thinking? You both make such a fetching pair.” Sunshine reflected for a moment. “But why are you just standing there? What a poor host I am. Come, let me show you my little queendom!”

  With a gnarled hand rooted firmly to her arm, Ruhi was escorted around the tiny abode as pristine and delectable as an enchanting fairy tale. With furniture so dainty and precise upholstered in brightly colored floral patterns, antique beds laid out in linen so fine not a wrinkle marred the symmetry of their folds, and hordes of rare and unusual dolls filling every nook and cranny, it wasn’t tough for Ruhi to hitch a free ride to the land of make-believe.

  “What an exquisite collection you have,” Ruhi exclaimed while admiring a flawless Hindu bride doll, which occupied place of pride on the mantel.

  “I started when I was six. My first was a rag doll, a gift from my father on Christmas. I’ve been collecting ever since. I must have at least three hundred lying around,” Sunshine replied with obvious pride. “Each of these has a story to tell.” It was undeniable that the inanimate figurines played a role in filling at least some of the deep vacuum her husband’s death had left behind.

  Later she brought out her “famous” rhubarb pie and zucchini bread and got to taste the Aloo paratha Ruhi had brought along. “Oh so delicious, it awakens the taste buds!”

  I should have gone easier on the spices, Ruhi thought guiltily as she watched the old dear bravely tackle her cooking.

  She then had the opportunity of making acquaintance of the illustrious Jeremy when Sunshine shared with her the family album. Ruhi laid eyes on a relatively nondescript man in military uniform displaying one of the most serene faces she had ever seen. She was surprised, for she had expected a much more dashing figure.

  Sunshine appeared to have to read her mind. “Jeremy was not my first love, rather I’d say he was my savior.”

  With Ruhi’s interest aroused, she went on.

  “When I was left on the wayside unwed and with child by a man who went to war and never came back, I was ready to bid farewell to this life. But then Jeremy came, he picked me up, and taught me how to live again. He wasn’t flamboyant or charming like my first love, but he was much finer. He was my ray of light and remained so till the day he died.”

  Looking intensely at her young companion, she said, “You’re wondering how a relationship can sustain for so long without the fire and passion we all hear so much about, aren’t you?”

  Ruhi colored, mortified at being so transparent.

  “Well, all that is wonderful in the beginning, but when one gets so old your joints gripe in protest, what you wish for is someone to hand you a cup of soothing tea or place a warm blanket over your shoulders, which Jeremy did for me until…”

  “Until?”

  “Until the last four years of his life when he couldn’t recognize my face anymore. He didn’t know who I was because he had lost his mind to a dreaded disease. Yet there was one thing that always remained with him. Whenever he got upset or out of control, the only thing that would give him peace was the feel of my hand. He never forgot his Sunshine’s touch. Oh my poor Jeremy!” Sunshine rocked back and forth in her chair sobbing quietly while her new friend gently smoothed her shoulders and soon she fell asleep.

  Ruhi found a blanket to cover her up and occupied her time perusing the pictures on the shelves and then attempted to make conversation with JJ who was working on disemboweling a large walnut with his curved beak.

  “Parlez vous francais?” he asked seriously when she approached his cage. She solemnly shook her head.

  “No, I don’t know much French, but I’d certainly like to teach you some of my own tongue. Can you say namaste?

  “Si senor! You are my sunshine…” He hummed and proceeded to cavort around the cage.

  “You bad bird. You knew the song all along but chose not to sing it wh
en your mistress asked you to. You males are all the same!”

  JJ didn’t appear particularly offended as he jiggled his head from one side to the other and performed a deft 360 around his perch.

  “Show-off!” she railed then wondered why she was getting all worked up at a blameless creature when he abruptly cocked his crown toward the door and squawked, “Hands up or I will shoot!” After ascertaining her host to be still in a state of suspended animation, she warily attended to the door and was immediately struck dumb when she came upon her estranged spouse standing outside with a bouquet of blooms in his hand.

  Appearing almost as put off as she was, he stuttered, “Uh…Ruhi, you here too?”

  She fought a desperate urge to cover her cheeks with her hands as they had started to burn uncontrollably.

  “I… I guess you might as well…take these.” He extended the fragrant bouquet.

  “Oh you heartbreaker! Bringing red roses to an old lady. Scandalous! What will my eighty-year-old neighbor think!” Sunshine chirped as sprightly as ever, refreshed from her short nap. “They’ll look so much better in Bee’s hands,” she declared, assigning the blooms to Ruhi’s care.

  The wily old fox didn’t waste any time, Shaan thought as he tracked her bent frame into the apartment.

  Driving Ms. Daisy! Ruhi followed behind, seeking to hide her levity behind the blossoms.

  Watch out you two! I’ll have you falling all over each other in no time! Sunshine walked ahead her blue eyes twinkling.

  “Amore Mio…!” ( JJ singing off key.)

  ***

  “Well, well…” Sunshine sat back in her easy chair after propping her cane carefully against the fireplace. “How wonderful to have two of my favorite young people in the same room together.”

  Displaying a fine set of dentures, she beamed at Shaan and Ruhi who stood in front of her, both struggling with considerable mental agitation while striving valiantly to assume an air of collected nonchalance.

  Wonder what diabolical plot the old gal has hatched. Ruhi must sure think I too have a hand in this! Shaan thought restlessly, stealing a quick glance at her. She was grappling with the roses with an obvious motive of decapitating them.