Inconvenient Relations Read online

  “But I irritate you and bicker with you, what of that?”

  “It doesn’t matter at all. Rather, I feel it is an expression of our getting more comfortable with each other. I want you! I… I need you to be with me always, by my side.” He approached closer, “And I hope we can make it work, you and me as man and wife. I’m willing to give it my best.”

  There. It’s out! How will she take it?

  It was her turn to look down at her shoes; she hadn’t expected it. It was too much too soon, and she couldn’t digest it. She couldn’t think! She tapped her feet and looked down the path. Her legs were itching to go on a run, away, far away from this madness he was creating inside her!

  Then all of a sudden, she turned to him fumbling with her jacket, “C’mon! Help me with this stupid zipper. Hurry!”

  “What’s going on, Ruhi?” Did my revelation affect my spouse so much she has taken leave of her senses? He thought, while obliging her, pulling up the zipper of her light jacket, which enveloped her torso like a glove. His fingers grazing the sensitive skin of her neck in the process. She shuddered.

  Damn! She feels it, too.

  She mussed up her hair then, hastily putting her arm through his, and rested her head intimately in the crook of his shoulder. “Hug me!” she said in an urgent whisper.

  Perhaps lady luck is on my side. She has changed her mind already!

  He hugged her.

  “Not so tight that I can hardly breathe,” she chided him.

  “Hell! What is going on? Are you up to one of your tricks again?”

  “Your eyes are magic, your body fragrance sublime. Say yes, or say no, you are still my Ruhi!”

  Shaan wheeled around to see Debo and Sujoy with Anu in a stroller, approaching fast from behind singing and laughing.

  “OMGeee! Dibhai, dadamoni! I…What a surprise!” Ruhi shouted letting go of his arm.

  Shaan regarded her with admiration. Got to give it to her, if anyone can give Sunshine a run for her money, it’s my Ruhi!

  “Hi Sooj, Debo! How come out for a stroll so late?”

  “Hi, Shaan,” Debo said coyly, directing a wink at her husband. “We are always out with Anu at this hour. It’s just that we don’t happen meet you two every day.”

  “Oh my little Anu. My Shona! My, my how you have grown!” Ruhi squealed with delight as she scooped up the toddler who came to her readily. “Why don’t you leave her with me sometimes, di? I’d love to babysit.”

  “No, that’s not fair, is it, Shaan?” Debo said, looking mischievously at him.

  “Uhm…what? What’s not fair?”

  “Haaye yeh toh kaam se gaya!” (He’s bowled over!) she declared, eyeing Ruhi who blushed.

  “Ahem! Debo, let them be. I think we are interrupting something important here.”

  “Oh no, not at all,” Ruhi said.

  “Oh yes we are!” Sujoy corrected her with a smile.

  “Oh, I’m so happy to see both of you like this!” Debo said, enveloping Shaan and Ruhi in her warm gaze.

  “Do come to the apartment, we can talk for sometime,” Ruhi pleaded.

  “No, no, Anu has to be put to bed, and we don’t want to be cursed to hell as Shaan is preparing to do right now. Do we, Sujoy?”

  “No, of course not! Will see you tomorrow at work Shaan…perhaps?”

  Shaan grinned and nodded as the trio quickly bid their goodbyes and hurried away.

  He smiled indulgently at Ruhi as she unconsciously latched on to his arm again and leaned on his shoulder while they resumed their walk. He wanted to savor these precious moments where there were no questions to be asked or answers to be given, just a peaceful togetherness.

  At the bottom of the steps, he paused; he needed to know. “So it was all for the benefit of Debo, wasn’t it? Are you afraid of her?”

  “Huh?” She snapped out of her private musings and moved away taking on a defensive posture. “No…actually, yes. I didn’t want to suffer another lecture.” She unzipped her jacket; it had gotten quite warm.

  He nodded. “I agree with you entirely. She used to be a teacher by profession.”

  She giggled. “Must have been a very good one then. Let’s go, it’s time for Two and a Half Men.” She turned toward the stairs.

  “No,” he said, blocking her way, “not before I know your decision.”

  “About what?”

  “That you will stay here with me?”

  She smiled mysteriously. “So you are anxious for my answer, Mr. Grey?”

  He grasped her roughly by the arms. “Damn you, Ruhi! Didn’t I warn you not to call me by that awful name again? Or I’ll…”

  “You’ll what?”

  “Kiss you,” he blurted out.

  She let out a tiny gasp while her eyes widened with irrational excitement. She wanted to incite him further, take the risk.

  “Then do it, Mr. Grey!”

  “Ruhi!” He pulled her to himself and was surprised she came readily without a struggle.

  What is she trying to do now? Can’t she see I’m crazy about her?

  Her pulse thudded loud in her ears when she saw him bend forward, intent on carrying out his threat.

  Give it up, Ruhi! What is there to lose? You want it as bad as he does!

  “No!” She pushed him away and ran up the stairs.

  He groaned, crouching down on the steps. “God I hate this girl! I really do. But I don’t want to let her go either. This is unending torture. What am I to do?”

  He felt a tap on his shoulder. “I’m willing to consider it.” There was mischief in her voice.

  “Not so fast.” He pulled her down before she could run away again. “I need to know now! Please don’t go, say you won’t!”

  She stared at his anxious face and melted. Poor Grey. He has been through a lot today.

  “Fine, I’ll give it my best shot, but on one condition!”

  “I’m willing to do anything!”

  She laughed, gently stroking his cheek. “Can we get some pizza from Tony’s?”

  “Phew! You witch! You had me scared sick.” He smiled, looking relieved, and then holding her firmly by the hand proceeded up the stairs.

  “Look here. If you start calling me names, I’m gone tomorrow!”

  “I’m sorry, but you irk me to the infinite degree.”

  “Then I’d better leave,” she said.

  “No! I like being irked.”

  She giggled. “Order the pizza right now. I want to watch Ashton.”

  “Like hell you do! We are watching Gone with the Wind on DVD.”

  “No way!”

  “Yes way!”

  A door closed with a loud bang.

  Turmoil

  They struck a deal: if she would taste the pizza and not just stare at it, he’d be willing to give Two and a Half Men a look-see. Ruhi was pleasantly surprised.

  But Shaan wasn’t. He truly hated the sitcom; in fact, he was repelled by it. Not just due to Ashton’s ubiquitous presence; he did not help matters by displaying a bare naked torso during most of the show, but also because he essentially wrecked Shaan’s prospects when he proposed divorce to his wife in order to chase after other skirts unhampered.

  Blast! Why does every mainstream American consider marital infidelity such a given thing it has become standard subject matter for prime-time TV? It’s so funny; it’s pathetic. He moaned, clutching his head with his hands.

  “Do you have a headache?”

  “Yes, I do. I can’t watch this crap anymore.”

  “Hmm… I thought you were fond of this so-called crap.”

  “No, I find it utterly ridiculous,” he said, pointing the remote at the TV.

  “No, wait! I want to see how his wife reacts.” Excited, Ruhi forced his arm out of the way.

 
“Oh my god!” She fell back, laughing on the couch when she saw Ashton’s rejected spouse drive her car through the wall of his house.

  “Yes, you could call it funny, I suppose,” Shaan said, looking dejectedly at the screen. It was amusing in a sad way. Ashton’s wife looked as if she needed stat psychiatric assistance while he looked like what he portrayed: a dimwit and an utter fool.

  “She did good. I love her spunk. She hit him right where it hurts. It’ll be a long time before he even looks at other women, let alone contemplates bringing them into his house,” Ruhi said after having regained some semblance of composure; she had been laughing so hard. “But if I was in her place, I wouldn’t have let him live to see another day!”

  She twisted around to confront her husband. “Shaan, if you even vaguely consider doing anything like that to me, I’ll kill you. Do you understand? You, along with that bitch!” Then clutching his collar, her face suffuse with intent, she pulled herself close so their faces were inches apart. He watched her eyes dilate with fascination.

  “To tell you the truth, I should have killed you long ago, Shaan Ahuja, but I didn’t. I spared your life.”

  “Ruhi, I’m—”

  Then just as abruptly she recoiled, tearing up. “No more apologies please!”

  “Ruhi, let me explain…”

  “I don’t want to hear anything, leave me alone!” She rushed into her room and closed the door on his face.

  “God please! I know I’ve hurt you badly, and you are perfectly right to feel this way! I wish I could take it all back and start with a clean slate. Please don’t shut me away, talk to me!”

  “Go away, Shaan!”

  “I won’t, not until you hear me out!” He tried the knob, but she had locked it from the inside.

  “Damnit! How are we ever going to move ahead if we don’t speak to one another?” He pounded hard on the door but to no avail.

  Darn! What a fool I am. Why didn’t I see it? He collapsed on the single bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.

  My wife loves me, or at least cares deeply else she wouldn’t have said what she just did. She has probably from the very beginning, but I have been so blind I never realized it.

  Everything began to fall in place—her erratic behavior, her sudden flares of temper. She is letting her pain fester by carrying on as though she doesn’t care. “And it’s all my fault! My bloody rotten fault!”

  Rolling over, he grabbed hold of a pillow and hugged it to his chest, sorely wishing it had been Ruhi instead. He could have tried to comfort and reassure her that his actions were for real. “I’m no longer the same Shaan you married, nor am I the guy who pushed you away. That person is long dead and gone. You smothered him with your unbridled sweetness. This man could never imagine hurting you without being hurt in the bargain. He’s willing to wait for you as long as need be because he adores you. His love is unconditional.”

  He wasn’t surprised to feel his eyes moisten. “Now I know my efforts won’t be in vain. Destiny meant us to be together, and all I need to do now is make you realize the same.”

  ***

  Ruhi stood with her back propped against the door. She was having trouble coming to terms with her earlier outburst.

  Gosh! What did you just do, Ruhi?

  “I… I…”

  You told him in not so many words that you care for him. “No, I didn’t. I did nothing of the sort!”

  Oh c’mon! You may have driven him to his wit’s end, but he’s not an imbecile! He’s now wary of the secret you’ve been trying to conceal from even yourself.

  “What is it?” she asked herself, though she was already aware of the answer.

  You love him. You are deeply, madly in love with him. You can’t deny that.

  “No! That’s impossible.” She ran to the window and pulled open the shutters, gulping in hungrily the fresh night air, sweetly scented with pine, in an attempt to clear the intrusive thoughts from her mind. But she couldn’t.

  Because it’s the truth, Ruhi—or my dear darling Bee—as you like to address yourself. You are in love with the man you married!

  She laughed. “Yes, we are married, but we carry on like strangers. We live under the same roof but sleep in separate rooms. We are constantly in each other’s way, yet we couldn’t be farther apart, and it hurts unbearably.”

  Banging her forehead against the wall only made her head hurt and further intensified the ache within her chest. “Would anyone believe me if I tell them my sob story? Hell, it’s even beyond my own comprehension. What a sorry situation to be in as if between a rock and a hard place.”

  Drained, she climbed onto the bed and lay down on her side hugging her knees. She examined her petite feet in the dim light of the single night lamp; I need to clip those nails!

  Would it have been better if I hadn’t known? If he had kept me in the dark? Would it have been less complicated?

  An edge of her generous mouth lifted up into a vague smile. “I’d have been like any other new bride blissfully unaware of what the future holds in store. But he didn’t do so. He was honest to the point of being bluntly cruel.” The memory made her cringe.

  That’s definitely a point in his favor, Ruhi.

  She had to agree. Yes it is, but not enough reason for me to stay with him.

  She peered at the calendar. Barely two weeks left!

  Her chest tightened as she panicked and found herself driven onto a narrow ledge. “Now that I know my heart is involved, I can’t just leave, nor can I give in without some proof of his integrity. Though I may lose my self-control if he pushes me hard enough. How am I going to make it? God help me please!” she implored aloud before falling into a restless sleep.

  ***

  8:30 a.m.

  “Ruhi?”

  Shaan tapped lightly on her door with his knuckles then much louder when he got no response.

  She’s usually up by now. Was it something I said that I shouldn’t have or something I did?

  He took a clenched fist to his forehead. Think! Think! Oh god! This girl cannot be trusted, what if she’s planning on absconding again?

  He banged on the door. “Open up or I’ll break this thing down!” It flew ajar. She stood there glaring at him. She had stayed awake much of the night. His heart went out to her. “Ruhi, what’s wrong?”

  “I’m fine! Just had a hard time sleeping.” Because of you!

  Her eyes put him squarely in the defendant’s corner as she edged past into the living room then with quivering hands turned on the TV and cranked the volume up high. She wanted to drown the uproar of the raging storm inside.

  “That’s loud,” he said, watching her with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

  “It’s too quiet in here,” she retorted, her gaze trained steadfast on the morning show.

  Why does he have to look so dapper today while I resemble a faded rag?

  He was wearing a crisp light blue half sleeve shirt on top of perfectly creased navy trousers and a…tie! She had never seen him in a tie before, must have an official meeting of some sort.

  “Kyun? (Why?) You don’t know how to knot a tie properly?” she questioned while fixing it with brisk clean movements.

  His eyebrows shot up in surprise; she pretended to ignore him.

  “Nahin. (No.) Do you think I need to learn how?” he teased softly and was pleased to see a becoming flush.

  She looked up boldly to meet his eye, the soft morning light giving her complexion a radiant glow. “You should prepare for everything. Never take life for granted.”

  “But I can always hope, can’t I?” he called after her as she abruptly turned and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Can’t I, Ruhi?” he appealed as she gathered her mass of hair together into a neat top knot before throwing open the various cupboards creating a clamorous cacophony while mutter
ing aloud to herself, “Sab kuch ulta pulta ho gaya hai! (Everything is upsidedown!) Nothing seems to be in its place. Where is the tea kettle? I always keep it in the oven.”

  He saw her skeptically eyeing the bright red pot.

  “It’s right there. Now sit down and relax,” he said, pulling out a chair.

  “But won’t you be late?” she asked, taking the seat appearing distinctly frazzled.

  “You’re more important. Work can wait.” He smiled and gave her shoulder a firm squeeze.

  “Madam, here’s your adrak wali special chai!” he announced, presenting her a steaming cup filled with the pungent ginger-flavored brew, his fingers deliberately brushing against hers this time.

  She took a tentative sip. “It’s good.”

  “Aaah, finally a beautiful smile! That’s reward enough. Pancakes?”

  Her gaze remained resolute on the cup. “No, I’ll fix something later.”

  “Hmm… I wonder if you eat anything at all during the day.” He mused, his voice riddled with doubt.

  “I do. I don’t intend to starve myself to death!” Her indignant eyes defied him to provoke her further.

  “All right, I won’t argue with you,” he said, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. “But have you given any thought to my request last night?”

  “I’m doing my best to give it serious consideration. It’s not an easy task for me.” Rather it’s becoming harder by the day! She got up to rinse her cup and peered hopefully at the tea leaves in the strainer. Did they hold the answer?

  “I can understand what you are going through, Ruhi. You probably wonder how you can trust someone who changes his tune within a matter of weeks.”

  He approached in earnest. “It took a while for me to acknowledge the truth, but I do now. You are the one who has fashioned this change in me.”

  At least he has some insight, she thought, her gaze focused on deciphering the intricate pattern of his tie. He hooked her chin up with his forefingers. “I don’t know how else to validate my sincerity, but I’m willing to try anything. Just give me a fair chance.”

  She didn’t demur.

  “I think I’d better get going.”